Massed in the car lot shoppers pause

Out pop their adamantium claws

One-day deals on

TVs and phones

We’re dancing

In the crosshairs

Of marketing drones

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t go

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t wouldn’t go-oh

Up on Walmart’s rooftop

click click click

What a bad time

For the Glock to stick

First comes the stocking

Of little Nell

Oh dear Santa

Fill it well

She wants an iPod

Screw that bitch

She’s getting this

Half-off trailer hitch

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t go

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t wouldn’t go-oh

Black Friday bargains

click click click

Some guy grabbed

The last one

Mace that prick

Next comes a present

For little Will

CGI hookers he can kill

It’s not what

He asked for but

It’s what he’ll get

Because it’s cheap

And Santa’s buried in debt

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t go

Ho Ho Ho

Who wouldn’t go-oh

Human dignity

Forget that noise

We’ll trample a baby

To buy baby toys

Finally at the checkout

click click click

Punching old ladies

Doesn’t make me sick

The ads said I’d save a fortune

But my soul spent a wad

And all for the birthday

Of the Son of God

[repeat chorus]

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21. boobill reblogged this from thebosha and added:

    Yup, just about nailed the holiday spirit.

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25. thebosha posted this