September 11, 2010
I’ll never forget that “never forget” is never an excuse to hate.

I will never forget /the almost orderly columns of dirty smoke in the stunned blue sky/the brilliant hush/the burly man softly weeping beside me the woman who couldn’t stop talking and me nodding/numb and holding her hand and we hundreds/we Hundreds mutely stumbling the train tracks to the next platform to get out/just get out/the cell phones useless/the cops and conductors saying We Don’t Know/We Don’t Know/the air just stench of melting plastic the long patchwork lawless journey home/the kids asking why daddy was here so early/why daddy was crying/our 8 year-old bleating God Bless America into his school band saxophone at sundown while the whole street held hands/heads down/a funeral.

 A funeral.

And me saying Fuck/Fuck Fuck Fuck to my parents for the very first time when they finally got a call though late that night/so late and so fearing so knowing Judy Who Worked There was gone/And Adriane/And Mark/And didn’t John have a meeting there today and where the fuck is David by now these guys should be home by now and hating myself/Hating myself for being back/home/safe/Hating myself for being alive.

I will never forget holding my children as if the slightest wind might blow them away.

I will never forget the surreal sweeping beams of low loud military helicopters slicing the black streets and yards/all night/All night/And the cars/the cars/the silent cars of neighbors at the station parking lot that were never driven home

not ever again.


2:41am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z4-OKy11fd82
(Notes: 44)
  
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  5. xytrex said: I lost no one and I was standing in an office Seattle but I do recognize the shock and fear. I can’t imagine having sounds, smells and tastes to accompany what I saw. I am so sorry.
  6. thebosha posted this